In life, we can usually look back and say “Yes, I am happy I made that decision” or “That was a tough choice, but I’m glad I went that route” but in the midst of life and the present moment, it can be hard to know and understand what any decision may look like in the long term. I can’t say I always know what to do so I rely on two things: Prayer and trust. I pray and I listen to my gut.
That doesn’t mean that the immediate outcome has always been clarity and peace. I have gone through stress and tears wondering if the choices I make in my life are right. Today I look at where I am and decide that when you pray and you trust, God is taking care of you. Sometimes you will go through a storm.
When you step out and go after a goal or follow a dream, it is not easy. There is doubt and worry that creeps in telling you that maybe the safe path was the best path to take. In the last month, I have gone through a storm that made me question whether I wanted to keep going. What’s that saying, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill
How I have managed to keep going is number one: Grace. Number two: Trust. Number 3: Listening.
I know this is a period of growth so it is not going to be easy but I am going to come out stronger. I also believe that on my path, on anyone’s path, there are “divine helpers” (I found that term on an Instagram message so I’m not saying it’s mine) that guide us. When I moved to Lincoln, I met people who have given me an anchor and a reason to stay here. They are like my family, they watch out for me, they check on me, they encourage me. Without them, I don’t know that I would stay. There are also people I have had the opportunity to build a relationship with and learn to trust. One of those people is a former boss. Being in the same field allows me to go to him for a better understanding of the industry and my career. This is the first time that I can really think of in my life that I have told people about what I felt was weakness. I always felt that telling people you didn’t know what you were doing or what direction to go was weak. I’ve let my ego go a bit for this but it has also given me the realization that God places people in your life for a reason. Usually your gut tells you who you can trust and I know that these people will give me genuine, sincere feedback. They also allow me to look past a need to be perfect and realize that I am doing the best I can and that in itself is already good enough. I think these people are placed in my life for a reason. I see them and these situations as God’s grace.
Trust: Going through difficult times is a sign that you are growing. Growing into a great blessing, a greater circumstance, a greater version of yourself. All I can say is try again. No matter how hard it may be, try again. I have one opportunity in this life and I will always give it my all so I trust that what I am going through is for my greatest good.
I like to refer to sermons or quotes or whatever lessons I learn from others. There is a lot we can learn from other people and I’m always ready to learn. So if I quote a lot, its because those quotes/saying/teachings have helped me on my journey.
“Conversing is a two part process. Talking (Praying) and listening (meditating). Do you ever listen”
If I pray, I have to also remember to listen. I find a good opportunity to listen in meditation. Or just a quiet space with no music or talking, etc. I was talking to a friend about signs. I always want signs to be clear. I want the clouds to part and the message to be loud and right in front of me. I have learned that if we listen the guidance will come. It may not be in time we want it. But remember: God’s timing is perfect.
Sometimes there is beauty in not knowing the answer to everything. Sometimes we are in a space where we don’t know where we are going. But all of this is a part of the plan and I trust in that plan.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earst, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts that your thoughts.”